A story by A worried mum, Across the UK
A story about how isolating friendship break-ups can be, and the difficulty that comes with falling out with a friend, especially when you have to live together.
What challenge does this story focus on?
In our second year of university a group of six friends, myself included, were all very excited to settle into our new home together. We were looking forward to making new memories, and sharing a year of our lives together. However, this didn’t all plan out. Unfortunately, soon after we moved in one friend became very difficult to live with, and started causing arguments and dramas. This made home life very isolating and nerve-racking, not knowing what problems would arise that day.
How has this challenge affected you?
This affected the home life of all of us, because not only is falling out with a friend very upsetting, but continuing to live with them is a struggle. Arguments are draining at the best of times, especially when you can’t escape them because they’re happening at a place you’re supposed to be comfortable and safe in. This was a struggle for me particularly as someone who hates any form of conflict, and seeing it happen among a small group would really get me down.
What has or is helping you to move forward with this challenge?
Being surrounded by my true friends and having a group of people to move forward with. Also, as I’ve grown older and matured I’ve realised that you cannot be responsible for how people act or feel, and unfortunately some people will just not be good to you. However, as long as you’re good to others, that doesn’t matter, because you’ll attract people who you can form genuine friendships with, which will be rewarding.
What have you learnt as a result of this challenge?
It takes time to know who someone really is, and when living with someone you truly experience their true colours. Don’t jump into living with a friend immediately, really consider what they’ll be like to share a life with.
How do you use this learning in your life now?
I make sure that I don’t rush into anything with friends, like you wouldn’t in a relationship with a partner. Living with someone is intense, and people come from different backgrounds and expect different things. When choosing people to live with for other years of my education, I’ve made sure that I really understand this, and don’t jump into a house like I did previously.
What positive message would you like the reader to go away with?
Any relationship has the chance to breakdown, and it’s a seriously upsetting experience. However, the good moments with genuine friends are what makes life worth living, and you can surround yourself with amazing people, who understand and respect you, which is so important.
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