Being a lockdown mum.

What challenge does this story focus on?

This story focuses on entering lockdown with a newborn baby. I wasn’t able to attend baby groups and socialise with other new mums. My baby didn’t have the interaction with others he deserved and craved. I felt lonely and frazzled. I thought I had a difficult baby, and felt guilty for having those feelings. I didn’t always enjoy myself. Not being able to share those feelings with others in the same boat that could empathise was very lonely.

How has this challenge affected you?

I struggled at times, but what mum doesn’t? I have breastfed longer than I might otherwise have as Kit and I had an extended period of quality time to bond, just the two of us. Some days I feel like a supermum, some days I have actual human poo in my hair. I have more grey hair, I have bigger biceps, my boobs will never be the same again. My heart has grown.

What has or is helping you to move forward with this challenge?

As lockdown eased I was able to bubble with my mum and dad, and that helped enormously. I had thought that Kit was a difficult baby, but with more interaction with others he became more chilled out and sunnier. I suppose my perspective changed a little as well. My pregnancy yoga group were a tonic. We checked in on each other and it was wonderful to have a group of other empathetic mums for support and advice.

What have you learnt as a result of this challenge?

I learnt to adapt and be grateful. I am grateful that Kit is my second; doing this as a first time mum would have been extremely difficult. I am grateful that Kit and I were both healthy during this period. Without having others checking in on you in baby groups it would have been easy for instances of post natal depression or other problems to go unnoticed. I leant to enjoy our time together snuggling on the sofa. I learnt that I can entertain a new born and a 3/4 year old 24 hours a day. I am amazing!

How do you use this learning in your life now?

I am grateful for how things are. I count my blessings. I accept that there are things I cannot control and adapt accordingly. I control the controllables, as my Dad says.

What positive message would you like the reader to go away with?

Just enjoy it, but if you don’t, that’s ok too.